In today’s day and age, high-speed, high-stress world, communication is more important than ever, yet we all are hardly interested in listening to one another. Sterling listening is too rare.
If you are genuinely listening and understanding what the speaker wants to say, then it will definitely help to build personal relationships more strongly, build real friendships, help in career growth, and resolve conflicts so easily.
Listening is one of the most essential tools of communication. It truly means careful understanding of what the speaker has said by discerning not only the words but also his/her tone and the message the speaker is conveying through his talks.
IS HEARING AND LISTENING ARE SAME?
Most of us think that they are the same but if we actually understand how they differ then it would surely create a major impact on our lives and give a fillip to our listening ability.
It is common that people often hear what is being said but hearing is a lot different from listening. To listen, we need to make a conscious effort not just to hear what people are saying but to take it in, digest it and understand.
IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING AND ITS IMPACT ON OUR LIVES.
❖Emphatically listening makes your professional and personal relations even stronger because you are not only hearing but connecting with people, understanding their emotions of misery, delight, and anxiety.
❖Become better at socializing.
❖Improve problem-solving skills.
❖Absorb information better and mould your conservation accordingly.
WHY DON’T WE LISTEN SOMETIMES?
There can be many reasons attributed to this which can hinder our ability to listen carefully and sometimes proves very costly to us :
❖ We have ego issues with the speaker and we have already made our minds not to give attention to what is being said.
❖Sometimes we are wrapped up in our own thoughts due to a number of things that could be going on in our own lives.
❖The surrounding is not suitable due to a lot of disturbances.
❖The speaker is not proficient sometimes.
❖The topic is boring and uninteresting to us.
❖Conflicting opinions with the speaker.
Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they just listen with the intent to reply.Stephen Covey
- Active listening : –
Be attentive and curious while you’re listening.
Active listening means as its name suggests “be active or attentive” while you’re listening.
It refers to listening with all the five senses that we have and as well as using verbal and non-verbal messages such as yes or hmm, nodding your head, maintaining eye contact, and a pleasant smile to encourage the speaker to carry on/continue.
- Listen to the words carefully and try to build a picture while the other person is speaking : –
- Don’t do planning what to reply next while other person is speaking something else : –
Most of the people plan and practice replies rather than listen carefully while the other person is speaking. They are dying to give their opinion even before listening to the speaker completely.
You cannot practice your replies and listen carefully at the same time.
At the time of listening, we must have our all five senses on and understand the verbal as well as non-verbal messages of the speaker for impactful listening.
- Avoid judgemental listening : –
To be a good listener, you should listen with an open mind rather than interrupt the speaker.
Judgmental listeners make the speaker uncomfortable by imposing their views, opinions, and solutions on them.
Interrupting people halfway without allowing them to completely say not only frustrates the speaker but also loses his/her concentration.
“If you keep judging people, you will never have time to love them”Mother Teresa
- Provide feedback regularly: –
As a good listener, your act is to understand what is being said, verbally and non-verbally by the speaker.
If you understand the message, show and express it by giving constant feedback.
THIS IS BANG ON!
GREAT! Or just Head nodding and appropriate facial expression!
Constant feedback satisfies the speaker that the listener is listening with full concentration — not off busy in his/her own thoughts.
- Mirroring technique: –
Most of us hesitate in one-to-one conversations. So to correct this we can do mirroring meanwhile.
Mirroring is a way to imitate verbal and non-verbal behaviour.
People who know the trick of mirroring connect so easily with the other person.
Mirror the important phrases, words, and the non-verbals like body language, volume, etc. It often happens when two good friends indulge in a conversation and to a spouse, too.
Why is mirroring good?
- It builds friendly relationships.
- Inhance goodwill.